New jeans that are like my Jessica Simpson jeans in every way, except for the association with Jessica Simpson.
A perpetual can of Diet Coke that never goes empty, warm, or flat.
One of those heated Japanese bras. Black, please!
The head of Adam Corolla.
A robot servant who can charge my cell phone, update my iPod, pick up prescriptions, and dispense quarters through its mouth.
Exact replicas of the black-heart-skull-and-crossbones earrings worn by Nena in the video for 99 Luftballons.
A faithful ghost dog.
Some process by which to absorb the complete texts of the last two Harry Potter books without having to actually read them.
The amazing ability to turn lights and appliances on and off with the mere clap of my hands.
No fair! These weren’t on your Amazon wishlist!
The idea of sweaty winter tits makes me sad.
Well, you don’t work in my office. You don’t have to deal with people who like to RUN THE AIR CONDITIONER this time of year. If I had a Big Electric Sasquatch Bra I would be much more comfortable.
Damn, I have to take back the Chia Pet. But, it *is* the new Adam Carolla Chia Head!!
Oh well, please don’t clap before you unwrap my gift, ot it will give it away.
Should we send this delightful array by mail, UPS, Star Trek Engergizer? Or maybe Santa will do a pick up when he comes to my house.
If you do get Adam Corolla’s head can I kick it a couple times?
Oh I so very heartily agree with the Adam Corolla comment. I personally want his testicles in a jar. He may be the World’s Most Annoying Self-Satisfied Frighteningly Hairy Uberschmuck….
So very nice to know I am not alone..
How about I send you Nena’s head instead,
and you can collect her earrings yourself?
It may not be as obvious for the non-German
speaking part of the world,
but that way, everybody wins.
We have lamps in our house that turn on and off merely by touching, or even waving at the lamp base. I’d guess it was a heat sensor, but then wouldn’t the heat from the lightbulb cause them to turn themselves off?
I know that’s not like clapping, but it’s pretty cool.
Can I get a robot servant too? I’ve got into trouble for having my mobile phone go dead too often lately.
Does it count if you listen to the Harry Potter books on CD or Audible? What if you listen in your sleep?
a ghost dog?
what, like greyfriars bobby or something?
just get depressed & have a ‘black dog’- you don’t need to even feed him/her, bonus! xx
Wait a minute. HEATED JAPANESE BRA ???!!!!
But I’m totally with you on the Adam Carolla head thing. Let’s go all “Lord of the flies” on it.
Adam…Carolla
Adam…Carolla. He’s on my list too. I’ll give him to you when I’m done with him.
That last item *can* be yours. It’s called (no really!) “THE CLAPPER”, with the slogan “clap on, clap off!”.
My mom had one. Didn’t work that well, but she wasn’t that good at clapping.
But if you’re still set on one or more, point your friends to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000CGKLR/103-5496676-9759023?v=glance
No ghost dog, but there’s a ghost horse in _The Clue of the Linoleum Laderhosen_ by M.T. Anderson. Maybe the ghost horse knows a ghost pet distributer or something…
Oh, I thought when you were asking for a Ghost Dog, you wanted Forrest Whittaker as an insane urban samurai assassin.
I hope I can return this guy…
There are earrings on eBay like the ones you described, but they’re pink…
http://cgi.ebay.com/Punk-girly-PINK-SKULL-AND-CROSSBONES-in-Heart-earrings_W0QQitemZ5062702251QQcategoryZ86043QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Wow, so that’s all you want. You’re easy to shop for, I thought you’d ask for something hard like a new Furby, cause you know people are beating down Wal*mart’s doors to get those, I’ll bet no one’s even thought of the joys they could bring to loved ones with the replenishing diet coke.
This has nothing to do with what you want for christmas. I just read an article in glamour about blogs and seen you in it, so I am just checking it out. 🙂
I wonder if the Japanese Sasquatch bra comes in a 36 long with various settings? That “Nipsey Russell” syndrome can be a real pain in the ass in winter.
Killy Piggy! Kill Piggy!
I’m with you on the bottomless, cold and fresh Diet Coke. 🙂
Tarina Tarantino has some lovely skull earrings in many colors, not EXACTLY the Nena earrings, but close. And only $32 smackers. http://www.tarinatarantino.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idcategory=0&idproduct=311
I have one of her necklaces in the same design and love it much.
Too bad you didn’t read Harry Potter 5. That one was really good. Book 6 was lousy, though. And I think Harry will kill himself in book 7. How much you’ve missed!