So we saw that penguin movie. I know how all this sounds, after not updating for two weeks: it sounds like I completely just slacked off this whole time and then went and saw the penguin movie, me and that whoever-it-is-I’m-totally-slacking-off-with-person, who, since I’m such a slacker, hasn’t even been introduced by his official privacy-protecting online nickname (which would be “Chris”), when the reality is that I had four articles to write, and I spent much of the past couple of weeks imagining my head was like a heroin’s addict’s arm, like something I had to repeatedly smack smack smack just to get a vein of coherent thought to come up.
And then came the nod, so to speak. And then it was time to see the penguin movie.
I’d heard lots of things about the penguin movie: I know people who loved the penguin movie and people who didn’t. I have a friend who emailed me to say “fuck off, Penguin Movie!” because he found it too depressing. But as it happened, we liked the penguin movie. Penguin Movie good! Penguin Movie deeply affecting!
To testify as to just how affecting: you know how some of the penguin parents accidentally let their eggs/chicks freeze/die while the other penguin parent was at sea? (And is that a plot spoiler? Is it okay that I just gave away the part where Antarctica gets really cold?) And Morgan Freeman tells us that it’s going to be really sad when the other penguin comes back? But we never actually see those scenes? I was convinced that the only reason we never saw those really sad reunion scenes is because it was just too PERSONAL for the penguins and that to show such scenes would be too exploitative, too Penguin Real World. I thought the filmmakers were classy to not show that. It didn’t occur to me until after the movie that it was more likely just impossible for them to tell the various penguin interactions apart–which squawks and trills conveyed things like Brr! Is cold at outer edge of huddle, yes? and which said, Um, while you were gone? I dropped the baby in the snow. Then again, it was wrenching enough to see that one penguin couple fumble their egg and watch it roll away and freeze.
Then again, I know two people (who I shall not name) who now think it’s kind of funny to pass pieces of gum, remote controls, cans of beer, etc. to each other, only to accidentally-on-purpose drop them on the ground and then sadly tap the items with their toes making mournful penguin noises. And they did this today on Instant Messenger:
cms36: Here comes the egg! Get it! Hurry!
wendym: Fuck! It rolled too far!
cms36: Eerrrrhhhh? …Errrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeerhhhhhh!
wendym: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh! (Click click!)
This, despite the fact that they really did like the penguin movie very much.
The Dukes of Hazzard had penguins in it?
That’s too fucking hilarious, I think I will have to incorporate that shtick into my son’s and my routine (alongside Nanny Stella of Nanny 911, Rachel Ray, Dance 360 and assorted QVC hosts). That movie had the most misleading trailer ever – cute waddling penguins and gleeful kids imitating them. And what we got was Morgan Freeman: ‘Death.. then rebirth, and then, inevitably, death again’ in his best Eeyore tones. Though I loved the movie too, especially the underwater scenes (except for the part – well, you know…)
I have to say that wise and insightful, as in the Sun-Times piece, is all very nice; but hilarious, as in this, is even better.
I think I would like that good Penguin movie. Except that I hated “Two Brothers” because the happy ending did not make up for all that DEATH that came before. Also, I have a second cousin who, for a short time, did a little comic strip thing called PenGrins with penguins. He did like, two of these, and called it quits.
I loved the penguin movie a lot. The emotional roller coaster was worth it for the baby penguins (the ones who didn’t die horrifically that is).
That said, I feel a little dirty/evil, but the thing about passing the remote made me laugh hard.
Just in case you don’t read The Onion.
http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4133
Also this:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,4241252,00.html
This means something.
Holy crap you just made my entire day! Yes, I’m one of those “fuck off, depressing penguin film” kind of people, but I actually did like it, and it was really cute, especially the parts where the penguins DIDN’T DIE.
I just CANNOT get myself to see that movie. I dont understand.
On another note, I hope youre having fun slacking off with whoever youre slacking off with.
the penguin movie made me very grateful that i am not a penguin. talk about a hard knock’s life!
that IM made me chuckle. hee hee.
I think that if you drop the remote, you should be required to walk until you get to the lake. It’s OK if you scootch on your belly for part of the way, though.
I have to say that Penguin movie was very touching. But those babies were so damn cute how can you not almost forget the sad stuff. Although, I think it got a little too close to soft core peguin porn at one point. Anyway, as you probably don’t remember, I work at Torrid and I see that we are now carrying your book and I like to think I may have had a small amount of influence on that since I did email the buyer. Supposedly they listen to us but I’m pretty sure it was mostly just you. or your “people”. You have those right? Either way congrats! When we get it in the store I’ll make everyone buy one.
Seen the penguin movie today. Cute..but boring. All I could think of was what was their purpose of being put here on earth. They have no purpose…other then being born cute. You can’t eat them. At least I’ve never seen them on a restaurant menu. Only purpose for their existence is that they’d make a good pair of winter gloves.
My brother and his girlfriend took my 7-year-old son to see it because they thought it would be a fun, cute movie he would enjoy. Halfway through the film (I suppose it took him a while to resign himself to the true nature of it)he declared, “What a ripoff!” loud enough to garner a few adult chuckles.
My son did ultimately say that it was “really cool”. But, still, a little disappointing if you’re expecting a happy story about a penguin like he was.
My brother said it was definitely worth seeing.
hi im sandra, i just read you’re book, i loved it and i plan on keeping up with your website i’m not one of those obsessed fans like you mention in your book. I grew up in NY i also had an overweight childhood and just so many things in your book reminded me of me, i have never done weight watchers, i’ve done diet pills, liquid diets and starvation. I have an 11 month old daughter and although im not down to my original weight of 133 i am at 150 but im on a health kick so everything is veggies, and some excercise…i dunno what else to say other than you rock!
Tom, dude, don’t you think the penguins are out there on the ice sheet, going “What the fuck up with these ugly ass human bitches anyway? Their feathers done fell off half they ugly-ass bald little faces, they can’t swim, can’t slide, can’t catch fish. All they can do is follow us around pointing cameras at us and making funny little teeth chattering noises, it’s a wonder they don’t attract a damn polar bear. Only talent they have is falling on they ass in the snow, and half the time when they do that they freeze they dumbasses to death. You can’t even make gloves out of their useless hides. Man, all I got to say is, if you ain’t from Antartica, you shouldn’t come to Antarctica. ‘Cause you wouldn’t understand Antarctica. So stay the fuck out of Antarctica.”
Diablevert, Dude…your absolutely right. Those stupid humans out there pointing those cameras and freezing their asses off. But then..THEY don’t walk 70 miles for a piece of ass. THEY (the male) don’t freeze their asses off caring for jr. while MaMa struts back to find food…because she dropped an egg to make PaPa proud. Penguins..a useless bird (that can’t even fly the 70 miles) are the subject of a boring movie that is making millions. And because of it another boring movie is sure to be made about another useless creature. Most likely the seal. J-Lo..your gloves are ready!
I was going to see that movie. But now I know that it gets cold in Antarctica. Damn.
I’m definitely glad to hear the penguin movie is good. Some friends and I were erroneously throwing around the notion that the narration was in FIRST PERSON PENGUIN! Glad to know that’s not the case…
Mike, believe it or not, the French version was narrated by the penguins. First person penguin. In French.
My only advice if you go see it is – bring a jacket!
I saw that penguin flick as well, not so much because I truly felt compelled to see it, but saw it more along the lines of “I refuse to spend one penny towards a movie that Tiny Tom or that Stepfordized Katiething is in). I thought the flick was cute. And I’m satisfied in not having gone to see WotW or Batman-whatever-the-sequel-name-is.
I believe the penguins negotiated final cut for their unsalaried performance in the film – thus the personal scene you mention was removed at their request.
Actually – it was not sad – as the DVD extended scene version will show; and the penguins came off as cold heartless flightless bastards.