At the Pride Parade yesterday, the Supreme Court-themed float made up for the fact that my favorite parade attraction ever–the Gigantic Jewel Shopping Cart–was empty this year. Nobody rode in it! Why was it not full of the gay? Oh, well.

I neglected to mention that some of these questions were thoughtfully provided by Pinky, who is additionally a fine drinking companion.

I meant to answer a bunch of these yesterday, but Blogger took all day to upgrade stuff.

That radio site said something about you having a column in BUST?
Starting with the Fall issue I’ll be doing the pop culture column for BUST magazine. I am the Pop Tart! I think I get to wear a fancy cape.

If you had an unlimited budget to buy beauty products, what would you run right out and buy?
Lots and lots of cream eyeshadow. Any kind: I don’t have any kind of brand loyalty whatsoever. I just really like cream eyeshadow because it’s easy to put on and you don’t need a brush, because frankly I’m kind of retarded when it comes to stuff like that.

If you could painlessly kill anyone in the world, who would it be? They wouldn’t suffer a bit, and you wouldn’t be caught.
Amanda Bynes. I can’t tell you why she needs to die but a little voice inside me keeps telling me that she must.

Do you still have your Hello Kitty toaster? Yes.� Does it toast both sides of the bread like that? No.� Do you know where I might�get one? Maybe.

I want to party with the Scientologists and wear bad wigs with the Scientologists and knock over convenience stores with the Scientologists. How do I get started? If I slam my hand in a car door will the Scientologists come for me? I hope so!

(The book starts here. Read it. Read every page.)

If you live in or visit or even remotely think about Chicago you really ought to get addicted to reading Gapers’ Block.

I just heard the news: Tong’s is gone. Gone! It was the best place ever to have really awful pictures of yourself taken. I can’t believe it. What kind of god would destroy the place where I sang karaoke for the very first time?

Okay, don’t answer that.